How to influence a person psychology. How to develop the ability to influence people's decisions? Psychology of influence on people

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In the last article I talked about some ways of manipulating or managing people, today I want to close the gap and introduce you to what psychology of influence on a person.

Psychological influence on a person occurs always and everywhere, but not everyone is familiar with how and what kind of influence on a person occurs. Therefore, I propose to consider and find out what is psychology of influence on a person..

Greetings, dear readers of the blog, I wish you all mental health.

Psychology of influence on a person

Psychological influence on a person can be intentional and unintentional (influence only from presence). The intentional psychology of influencing a person occurs for something, and for some reason (i.e., there is a goal), while the unintentional one happens only for some reason (i.e., it has only a reason, for example, charm).

Exists non-mandatory ways of psychological influence on a person(request, advice, persuasion, praise, support and consolation; and imperative influence (orders, demands, prohibitions and coercions. There is still disciplinary methods of influencing a person(warnings, reprimands and punishments); threats (intimidation); self-praise and self-edification; criticism; rumors and gossip.

Let us consider in more detail what non-imperative "psychology of influence on a person" is:

Request as a psychology of influence on a person used when they don't want to make an impact official or when someone needs help. In many cases, people (especially children and subordinates) are flattered that instead of an order, a demand, a senior in age or position uses a form of addressing them, in which some element of the supplicant's dependence on the one to whom he addresses is manifested. This immediately changes the attitude of the subject to such an impact: in his mind, an understanding of his significance in the situation that has arisen may arise.
Request has a great psychological impact on a person if clothed
in clear and polite terms and accompanied by respect for his right to refuse if the request causes him any inconvenience.

Advice as a psychology of influence on a person. To offer someone something means to present this something for discussion as a known possibility (option) for solving a problem. Acceptance by the subject of the proposed depends on the degree of hopelessness of the situation in which he is, on the authority of the person who offers, on the attractiveness of the proposed, on the characteristics of the personality of the subject himself. So, in relation to the concept (types of human temperament), the following is noted: a choleric person will rather respond to a proposal with resistance, a sanguine person will show curiosity towards him, a melancholic person will respond with avoidance, and a phlegmatic person will refuse or delay time, since he needs to understand the proposal. (Test: Eysenck Personality Questionnaire)

Beliefs as a psychology of influence on a person. Persuasion is a method of influencing the consciousness of the individual through appeal to her own critical judgment. The basis of persuasion is the clarification of the essence of the phenomenon, cause-and-effect relationships and relationships, the allocation of social and personal significance of solving a particular issue.

Persuasion can be considered successful, i.e. psychological influence is obtained if a person becomes able to independently justify the decision, evaluating its positive and negative sides. Persuasion appeals to analytical thinking, in which the power of logic, evidence prevails, and the persuasiveness of the arguments is achieved. Persuasion as a psychology of influence on a person should create in him a conviction that the other person is right and his own confidence in the correctness of the decision being made.

Praise as a psychology of influence on a person. One of the types of positive psychological influence on a person is praise, that is, an approving review of him, a high appreciation of his work or deed. Every person has a psychological need for praise.

Female feels the need for her work to be noted by others. Therefore, housewives and retired women often suffer from an unmet need for recognition, neglect of family members and underestimation of their work.

The male also likes to be praised for his work, but at the same time, if he is sure that he did the job well, then he will have a high opinion of himself even if his work is not recognized by others. Consequently, men are more independent in self-assessments from the opinions of others.

Support and consolation as a psychology of influence on a person.

Words of encouragement can convince, encourage, inspire, soothe, comfort, or amuse. Supporting doesn't mean making false claims or telling people what they want to hear. When words of encouragement don't line up with facts, they can trigger destructive behavior.

To comfort means to help a person perceive himself and his situation more positively. Consolation is associated with an empathic (sympathetic) response to the failure or grief of the interlocutor and shows that he is understood, sympathized with him and accepted.
Consoling, support the interlocutor, calm him down.

Suggestion (suggestion) as a psychology of influence on a person.
Suggestion is understood as the psychological influence of one person (inspirer) on another (suggested), carried out with the help of speech and non-verbal means of communication and characterized by reduced argumentation on the part of the suggestor and low criticality in the perception of the transmitted content on the part of the suggested.
When suggesting, the one who is inspired believes in the arguments of the person who inspires, expressed even without evidence. In this case, he focuses not so much on the content of the suggestion as on its form and source, that is, on the suggester. The suggestion accepted by the person who is being suggested becomes his internal setting, which directs and stimulates his activity in the formation of intention.
There are three forms of suggestion: strong persuasion, pressure, and emotional-volitional influence.

Now consider what is the imperative psychology of influence on a person:

Order, demand and prohibition as the psychology of influence on a person.
Order- psychological influence on a person in the form of an official order of the one who is invested with power.
Requirement- this is a psychological influence on a person expressed in a decisive, categorical form in the form of a request for what should be done, for which the one who requires it has the right.
Ban- a form of psychological influence on a person, in which a person is not allowed to do or use anything.
These forms of psychological influence on a person can be used in cases where one person has the right to control the behavior of another (others).

At the same time, it should be taken into account that these forms of influence are psychologically perceived by the subject as a manifestation of his power to others, as coercion, and even in some cases - as violence against his personality. Naturally, this leads to internal resistance to the demands and prohibitions put forward, since a person does not want to be an obedient toy in the hands of another. He wants the requirements to have a certain significance for him, to meet his needs, attitudes, moral principles.
This negative reaction can be removed by careful argumentation of the demand put forward.

Coercion as a psychology of influence on a person.
Coercion, as a psychological influence on a person, is usually used in cases where other forms of influence on the motivation and behavior of the subject are ineffective or when there is no time to use them. This way of influencing a person is expressed in a direct requirement to agree with the proposed opinion or decision, to accept a ready-made standard of behavior, etc. if the subject does not agree with this.

The positive side of the psychological influence on a person in the form of coercion is that it can contribute to the removal conflict situation on a given period of time and the performance by the subject of the necessary actions. In addition, this is one of the ways to cultivate a sense of duty. “A person who does not know how to force himself to do what he does not want will never achieve what he wants,” wrote K. D. Ushinsky.

Psychology of influence on a person in the form of disciplinary measures of influence.

Warning as an influence on a person, is the mildest disciplinary action. Speaking in bureaucratic language, this is “putting it in sight”. It means that next time the impact will be more severe.

Reprimand as an influence on a person, which is exactly what it is. It is drawn up by order of the head, entered into a personal file and is the basis for the dismissal of the employee.

Punishment as an influence on a person, involves depriving a person of something significant for him (if this is a child - depriving him of a walk, watching a movie, etc.; an employee - deprivation of bonuses, vacations in the summer, etc.; a military man - dismissals on weekends, etc. the highest penalty is imprisonment).

The psychological impact on a person in the form of disciplinary measures is determined by the severity of the offense, taking into account the age of the offender, the scale of the offense and other factors.

Threat (intimidation) as a psychology of influence on a person.

Threats are another way of psychological influence on a person. A threat is a promise to cause a person trouble, evil. It is used to cause anxiety or fear in a person: an alarmed, and even more frightened, person is easily
subject to other people's influence.

As a factor of psychological influence on a person, intimidation is most common in such social relationships, the rupture of which is difficult or impossible (army, family, educational institutions, prison).

“Innocent” blackmail is also used to psychologically influence a person (friendly hints at mistakes, mistakes made by a person in the past; playful mention of “old sins” or personal secrets of a person).

Self-praise and self-edification as a psychology of influence on a person.

In order to influence other people through their authority, some people resort to self-praise. Sometimes this leads to the desired effect: people begin to treat such a person with more respect. However, more often than not, the “self-promoter” achieves the opposite effect. Having “seen through” him, people begin to perceive him as an empty, importunate, narrow-minded and narcissistic bouncer or as a person with low self-esteem. Therefore, this method of influencing others must be approached with caution.

self-edification aims to make others feel guilty. To do this, a person sets himself as an example: “I am at your age ...” - parents say to their children, pointing to their achievements. A person representing himself as a role model seeks to emphasize his exemplary, exemplary
thoughts and actions, so that the interlocutor, against his background, realizes his own worthlessness and guilt for it. The calculation here is that it is unpleasant for a person to feel guilty, he seeks to get rid of this experience, wants to “make amends” and therefore becomes easily manageable.

Criticism as a psychology of influence on a person.

People are very sensitive to the slightest hint of criticism. This happens because, in general, negative information turns out to be more significant for people than positive information, since, being less common, it attracts more attention to itself.

Rumors and gossip as the psychology of influence on a person.

Gossip- this is a specific type of informal interpersonal communication, this is a message (coming from one or more persons) about some events that are not officially confirmed, orally transmitted in a mass of people from one person to another.
Rumors are a means of psychological influence on changing opinions, attitudes, moods, and behavior. Rumors can be used to strengthen the authority of their distributors, cause people to distrust each other, and generate doubts. different kinds.
Contribute to the spread of rumors lack of information, subjective ambiguity of events. They either arise spontaneously, or are fabricated and distributed purposefully.

Gossip are rumors based on inaccurate or deliberately false information about someone. The purpose of gossip is to sow distrust, anger, envy towards this or that person. As a rule, gossip spreads in time and space very quickly if not stopped in time. Gossip is characterized by a combination of lies and truth, and there were fables. This makes her at first timid, weak, but then she grows non-stop, acquiring new conjectures.
The only defense against gossip is its public refutation and the discovery of its inconsistency.

So this article on the psychology of influencing a person has ended, I hope you found something important for yourself in it?

I wish you all good luck!

How to influence a person, make him act differently, change his behavior, feelings, thoughts? Such manipulations can be carried out on a subconscious level. To do this, you need to know some techniques of psychology that everyone can use. For everything to work out, you need to delve into some subtleties.

Not only psychologists, but also ordinary people can influence people, this does not even require magic. When communicating with a person, it is important to pay attention to the intonation with which words are pronounced. It is the tone that can work wonders. Since ancient times, when sorcerers uttered a conspiracy, they changed the speed of speech, focused on individual words.

You might think that magic, various witchcraft rituals are something mystical. Even a small amount of knowledge of psychological science helps some people to influence others without much effort. Often magic is based on the process of laying hidden commands into the subconscious of the subject, because of this, the illusion is created that the person independently changed his own life, fate, or that this is the work of the magician.

You don't need to have superpowers to influence a person. It is enough to know a little theory and skillfully apply it in practice. During communication, certain phrases are specially used to manipulate a person. They can be distinguished by gestures or intonation. The subject with whom the conversation is being conducted may not even notice that his interlocutor uses some tricks. And at this time, a certain phrase had already been deposited in his subconscious.

For example, if you need to reassure a friend, you can say: “My colleague’s house was searched yesterday, but at the same time he was in a state of complete calm and confidence.” It is the end of the sentence that is distinguished intonation. The conversation is about a colleague. At a subconscious level, words about how to behave are remembered.

Learning the Hidden Influence

An important condition for hidden commands that can change a person's life is the level of their perception. The two levels are not allowed to be confused in terms of meaning. If this rule is not adhered to, then the command will not affect the subconscious of a person, but will be perceived consciously.

If you say: "Now let's relax, enjoy life", positive result not achieve. The call will be clear to others, but psychologically it is wrong, because it will not reach the subconscious level. It will be possible to cheer up upset or tired people, to influence the human psyche with the help of a story. It suffices to summarize the sentences with hidden commands. It may talk about how recently friends spent time in a club, relaxed, and the evening was just beginning from this. Thanks to this technique, the mood in the circle of gathered friends will quickly rise.

Intonation influence on a person is effective in highlighting individual, necessary phrases. Auxiliary words that serve as a frame for key words are pronounced in a normal tone.

Variety of methods

The psychology of the impact on a person is different. The applied methods can be non-mandatory and imperative, disciplinary. Often it is possible to change the fate of a person thanks to beliefs. With their help, the impact is made on consciousness. For example, by explaining to a child why he should study at a higher educational institution, you can ensure that the child graduates from the university, after which he will become a successful scientist, businessman, politician, etc.

Influence through persuasion allows you to achieve what you want. To do this, it is enough to correctly explain, highlight the essence of the issue or problem, recall the causes and consequences. The necessary decision by a person, after the correct conviction, seems to be made independently, since he understands its significance.

You can influence a person at a distance or directly in a conversation with him through praise. This is the type of positive impact that should be applied to all people. A person's life will become happier and more pleasant if his achievements in his career, studies, and sports are noted.

It will be possible to influence others, change their thoughts and behavior through a psychological technique in the form of suggestion. To do this, use different means (speech and not only). Due to suggestions, it is easy to change the fate of a person, since the suggested information takes the form of an internal attitude. It can be used to stimulate and guide a person in the process of forming his intentions. Among psychologists, various forms are used that change the subconscious of a person. This is the impact of the emotional-volitional type, persuasion and pressure.

Thoughts and consciousness can be affected by coercion. Such an influence is used when other methods do not work or there is no time to use them. Coercion is associated with the expressed demand for the adoption of some behavioral standard, so one can force to agree with the decision or existing point vision. With the help of coercion, sometimes it is possible to avoid the development of a conflict, for example, to force them to perform some actions at the moment.

If we consider the ways of disciplinary influence on persons, reprimands, warnings, punishments are popular. Warnings have a mild form, signaling more serious consequences that will be applied in the future (if necessary). Reprimands are often used by managers for their employees. Punishment is the deprivation of a person of something important, for example, some object.

The power of suggestion

Faced with problems in the family, in school, at work, people often try to change their better side the fate of man. Many are trying to turn to experienced people who, using a conspiracy, will force, for example, a drinking husband to refuse bad habit to return to his wife, etc.

In fact, such methods really help in most cases. The plot is usually spoken aloud. The presence of the patient is not necessary, but he often also has to perform some actions (drink a special herbal infusion or something else).

In fact, a conspiracy is something close to prayer. You can also say certain words to the person himself in order to help himself in finding a job, getting more high office, successful marriage, etc. All spoken words or thoughts that are not spoken aloud must be sincere, you must believe in your own actions.

In practice, in order to have a positive impact on fate, to change life for the better, some phrases should be spoken daily. They have a positive effect on the mind, attract good luck and prosperity. These include the following proposals:

I'm sure something wonderful will happen today.
I am confident in the magnificent outcome of every situation in life.
Every day I feel better and better (it will affect the fate of a person and make him healthier).
May today be a good day.

Such attitudes have incredible power, they set the subject up for positive thoughts.

The impact on human behavior, whether it be a conspiracy or any psychological tricks, may be invisible to the subject. It is not difficult to master the rules of influencing the subconscious of people around you, especially if you fix them in practice. They should be used only for good purposes, when trying to change human life for the better.

20 Easy Ways to Influence

Interest

Anyone looking for different situations personal benefit. When you once again explain your position, be sure to tell the listener what he can find for himself.

To find a compromise

It's impossible to just zazombirovat a person. If you want to influence someone, learn to negotiate and, if necessary, compromise.

Communicate

Of course, communication is the main key to influence. The more you develop your communication skills, the more people will support your opinion.

Become an inspiration

In order to convince other people of something, you yourself need to radiate cheerful enthusiasm.

hypnotize

Of course, it is necessary to hypnotize the interlocutor not in the literal sense of the word. This is done with charm. It should not be forgotten that most people are more willing to agree with those who are respected and loved.

Before we begin, we want to point out that none of these methods is suitable for harming a person or in any way hurting his dignity. In our compilation, we decided to tell you about effective ways to make other people your friends or just push you to the decision you need. But if you want to win over the interlocutor seriously and for a long time, you can try to do the following:

1. Ask for a favor

We are talking about an effect known as the Benjamin Franklin effect. Once Franklin needed to win the favor of a man who did not like him very much. Then Franklin politely asked the man to lend him a rare book and, having received what he wanted, thanked him even more politely. Previously, this man avoided even talking to him, but after this incident, they became friends.

This story is repeated over and over again. The bottom line is that someone who once did you a favor is more willing to do it again compared to the person who owes you something. The explanation is simple - a person decides that since you ask him for something, then, if necessary, respond to his request, so he must do the same as you.

2. Demand more

This technique is called the "door to the forehead." You need to ask a person to do more than you really want from him. You can also ask to do something ridiculous. Most likely he will refuse. Soon after, boldly ask for what you wanted from the very beginning - the person will feel uncomfortable because they refused you the first time, and if you now ask for something reasonable, will feel obligated to help.

3. Call the person by their first name

The famous American psychologist Dale Carnegie believes that calling a person by name is incredibly important. A proper name for any person is the most pleasant combination of sounds. It is an essential part of life, therefore its pronunciation, as it were, confirms for a person the fact of his own existence. And this, in turn, makes you feel positive emotions in relation to the one who pronounces the name.

In the same way, the use of a title, social status, or the form of address itself affects. If you behave in a certain way, then you will be treated that way. For example, if you call a person your friend, he will soon feel friendly feelings towards you. And if you want to work for someone, call him the boss.

4. Flatter

At first glance, the tactics are obvious, but there are some caveats. If your flattery doesn't seem sincere, it will do more harm than good. Researchers have found that people tend to seek cognitive balance by making sure their thoughts and feelings always align. So if you flatter people with high self-esteem and the flattery sounds sincere, they will like you because it confirms their own thoughts. But flattering people with low self-esteem can lead to negative feelings because your words contradict their opinion of themselves. Of course, this does not mean that such people should be humiliated - this way you will definitely not win their sympathy.

5. Reflect

Reflection is also known as mimicry. Many people use this method naturally, without even thinking about what they are doing: they automatically copy someone else's behavior, speech patterns, and even gestures. But this technique can be used quite consciously.

People tend to treat better those who are like them. No less curious is the fact that if during a recent conversation someone “reflected” a person’s behavior, then this person will be more pleasant to communicate with other people for some time, even if they had nothing to do with that conversation. The reason, most likely, is the same as in the case of addressing by name - the behavior of the interlocutor confirms the very fact of the existence of the individual.

6. Take advantage of your opponent's fatigue

When a person gets tired, he becomes more receptive to other people's words, whether it be a request or a statement. The reason is that fatigue affects not only the body, but also reduces the level of mental energy. When you ask a tired person for a favor, you will probably get a response like “OK, I’ll do it tomorrow” - because at the moment the person doesn’t want to solve any more problems. But the next day, a person, most likely, will fulfill the promise - people, as a rule, try to keep their word, because otherwise they get psychological discomfort.

7. Offer something you'd be embarrassed to refuse.

This is the reverse of point number two. Instead of making a big request right away, try starting small. If a person helped you with something insignificant, he will be more willing to fulfill a more important request.

Scientists have tested this method in relation to marketing. They began campaigning for people to express support for the environment and the conservation of the rainforest. Pretty easy request, right? When people fulfilled the required, they were asked to buy food - all the proceeds will be directed to the conservation of these same forests, of course. Most people have done that too.

However, be careful: do not ask for one thing first, and then immediately completely different. It is much more effective to wait a day or two.

8. Learn to listen

Telling someone that they are wrong is not the best way to win over a person. The effect is likely to be the opposite. There is another way to express disagreement and not make an enemy. For example, listen to what your interlocutor says, and try to understand how he feels and why. Then you will find something in common in your seemingly opposite opinions and you can use this to explain your position. Express your consent first - so the person will be more attentive to your subsequent words.

9. Repeat after the interlocutor

One of the most effective ways to win over a person and show that you really understand him is to paraphrase what he says. Say the same thing in your own words. This technique is also known as reflective listening. This is what psychotherapists often do - people tell them more about themselves, and an almost friendly relationship is built between the doctor and the patient.

This technique is easy to use when talking with friends. Formulate the phrase they just said as a question - this way you show that you listened carefully and understood the person, and he will be more comfortable with you. He will also listen to you more because you have already made it clear that you care about him.

10. Nod

When people nod while listening to something, it usually means that they agree with the speaker. And it is natural for a person to assume that when someone nods when talking to him, this also means agreement. This is the same effect of mimicry. So nod throughout the conversation with a person - later this will help you convince the interlocutor that you are right.

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A person lives in society, constantly being in communication and interaction with other people. Social status of a person, his success is determined by the ability to communicate with other people, find an approach to them and negotiate. In the course of life, a person not only influences other people, but is also influenced by them, often against his own interests.

Knowing about human psychology and psychological methods of influencing a person is useful not so much in order to manipulate others in your own interests, but in order to avoid such manipulations. Below are the main examples of "dirty" psychological techniques that should be avoided, as well as some psychological communication techniques that can be safely used, since they do not harm someone else's reputation and dignity.

The methods of psychological influence listed in this section are called negative because they negatively affect the state of mind of the person who is affected. Sometimes the negative effect concerns not only the state of mind of the target, but also his social well-being. Examples of such a psychological impact on a person's consciousness will be given below in order to be aware of the typical tricks of manipulators and not fall for them.

Such methods of manipulation are destructive, and information about them is provided in order to avoid such an impact, and not to use it on other people. It should be understood that the manipulator does not always use consciously. Sometimes this happens on a whim, and not always even with the intent to harm. Often the manipulator is so focused on getting his own benefit that he does not think about what harms someone else.

However, there is another category of people - those who know exactly how to psychologically influence a person during a conversation. Usually these are not just ill-wishers, but employees of large corporations, marketers and other media workers specially trained in psychological methods of influencing people, who pursue certain goals in their manipulations.

Such selfishness, of course, cannot be used as an excuse for traumatic actions. A person who has fallen under such a “harmful” influence often needs the help of a professional psychologist in order to restore peace of mind and continue to live a full life.

Criticism

Criticism as a psychological impact is most often used in two ways:

In the first case, the manipulator artificially creates an image of his own authority in front of the victim. In this case, the conviction is imposed on the victim that the opponent is a great expert in the field of dispute, and his opinion is immutable. In fact, it often turns out that the manipulator is a specialist in a completely different field, or is not at all a great connoisseur. Such manipulation is used when the manipulator does not feel great power in his arguments: they do not sound convincing enough on their own, and the interlocutor's "pressure by authority" begins.
In the second case, the manipulator, on the contrary, plays on the authority of the interlocutor. First, his competence is emphasized in every possible way, and then the manipulator "catches" the victim on factual errors, shortcomings in the wording and other imperfections of the argument.

In addition, cases of the use of "benevolent rudeness" are not uncommon. This technique consists in the fact that the victim of manipulation is first told how wonderful she is and what successes she is making, and then, under the sauce of “adequate” criticism, in the most correct terms, a portion of unreasoned criticism is given out, passed off as “wishes”. After reading this, the victim of a psychological impact on a person has mixed feelings: on the one hand, he was wished well with this message, and on the other hand, his heart is now disgusting.

In its various variations? First of all, remember that criticism has adequacy and weight only in those cases when it is in demand (when you yourself are open to criticism, ask for it and let the public know that you are ready to listen to it) and when it is adequate, t i.e. when specific arguments are given for shortcomings, and not a general emotional assessment. There is nothing wrong with adequate criticism if it is presented correctly. However, if the manipulator is trying to humiliate you through criticism, the best way is to point out his own shortcomings in the argument, or politely say that his opinion was not required.

Threat and intimidation

Threats and intimidation - the most direct and simple manipulation of existing. They can threaten with anything - from the deprivation of any privileges to physical violence. There are even highly spiritual manipulators who intimidate the victim with curses or heavenly punishment.

The strategy for combating such manipulations should be built depending on the constructiveness of the message. If a person has real power over the victim of manipulation, that is, this is his immediate supervisor or patron, then the best way to cope with such pressure is to get out of his control by finding another source of resources. Many victims of manipulation find themselves under the control of superiors, who threaten to be fired or lose their bonuses. In such cases, it is necessary to start looking for a place of work, and to record threats, if possible, in order to transfer them to the authorized bodies.

If the manipulator does not have real power over the victim, he threatens with physical violence or various spiritual forms of violence - corruption, witchcraft, etc. In the second case, it is easiest to ignore such babble, since any form of witchcraft works only on those people who truly believe in them. In the first one, everything is a little more complicated - you need to be careful, fix threats on any medium, find witnesses, and contact law enforcement agencies. Remember that a threat to life and health is no longer a field of psychology, but an article in the Criminal Code.

self-praise

Self-praise is one form of feigned authority. At the same time, the manipulator attributes or exaggerates the attributes of his person: he says that he has a special education, status, abilities, connections that he does not have. If it is not possible to check the information that the interlocutor flaunts, it is necessary to remember that all these feigned attributes are just a way to splurge in order to divert the opponent from the main thing - from the weakness of one's own position in the dispute.

If your interlocutor is struggling to show what an important person he is, ask yourself the question - “So what?”. Rely on the arguments and facts that he cites. Keep the discussion to the point - don't let feigned superiority lead you away from the thread of the conversation. Lead - after all, the status of the opponent does not matter at all in the discussion, only the information being discussed is important.

Rumors and gossip

Another common form of manipulation is referencing rumors and gossip. Simply put, the manipulator addresses the victim with the message “I heard out of the corner of my ear that ...”, and cites rumors of varying degrees of improbability. It should immediately be noted that no one will be pleased when his person is discussed behind his back in a negative light. Therefore, such a message immediately provokes a violent emotional reaction in the victim, which is easy to lead into the direction the manipulator needs.

The psychology of influencing people allows you to use gossip and rumors in different ways - set the victim against the alleged source of information, force them to give out some information under the “sauce” of justification, etc. The main thing to remember in such situations is if you become a victim of rumors , do not spread them even further. You do not know where the information came from to the manipulator. You do not know in what form he received it and what he uses it for. Remember that a well-mannered person does not allow himself to take information from gossip. Do not justify yourself to the gossip - answer with dignity, giving out as much information as you yourself consider necessary.

Permissible methods of psychological influence on a person

Knowledge of what is wrong with a person can be used not only to the detriment of others. Here are a few psychological communication tricks that will not harm anyone, but will help make the interaction more effective:

Do not discuss the failures and blunders of another person if you cannot offer a viable alternative. This recommendation fits into the brief advice "Criticize - offer." If you understand that nothing can be changed in the current situation, or if you simply don’t like something in a person’s actions, but you cannot offer a worthy replacement option, refrain from negative comments in his direction, because they will not make your communication nicer and more efficient.
End the conversation on a positive note. So the person will have a pleasant impression, and next time he will be more willing to start contacting you than you would end up talking on the negative.
If you need to criticize someone, do not forget to emphasize the merits. This point is in addition to the first: if you need to explain “how not to do it”, always back it up with a positive example and a list of “how to do it”.
In discussion, refer only to arguments. Do not humiliate the personality of the interlocutor - this is the lowest and most tactless method when conducting a dispute. Do not appeal to "authorities" unless their opinion is supported by factual evidence. To argue with reason, follow the bare facts and rely only on the constructive elements of the dialogue.
Remember the three yes rule. If you have to lead a discussion, prepare the arguments in such a way that the interlocutor must agree with them at least three times in a row. After the psychological threshold of three "consent" is passed, it will be much easier for a person to continue to accept your position.
Watch the body language and facial expressions of the interlocutor. Involuntary movements of the muscles of the face and body during a conversation will help you identify "trigger" arguments. These are the most painful points for the opponent, which you can continue to put pressure on and get a response. Also pay attention to the gestures "yes" and "no" - nodding, waving, shaking your head. This will help to understand what a person really feels, whether it fits with the words.

You can manipulate for various purposes, with varying degrees of skill. One thing should not be forgotten: in order to maintain calmness and a clear conscience, one should not use those methods that leave the opponent in a situation of fear, hopelessness, helplessness. And if such methods unbalance you, you should contact a psychologist to help restore peace of mind and learn how to continue to bypass such “traps”. It is also useful to study special literature on how to influence a person psychologically - not only to benefit from manipulation, but also to protect against such "dirty" tricks.

1. Ask for a favor

2. Demand more

This technique is called the "door to the forehead." You need to ask a person to do more than you in reality want to get from him. You can also ask to do something ridiculous. Most likely he will refuse. Soon after, boldly ask for what you wanted from the very beginning - the person will feel uncomfortable because they refused you the first time, and if you now ask for something reasonable, will feel obligated to help.

3. Call the person by their first name

4. Flatter

5. Reflect

6. Take advantage of your opponent's fatigue

7. Offer something you'd be embarrassed to refuse.

However, be careful: do not ask for one thing first, and then immediately completely different. It is much more effective to wait a day or two.

8. Learn to listen

9. Repeat after the interlocutor

One of the most effective ways to win over a person and show that you really understand him is to rephrase that what he says. Say the same thing in your own words. This technique is also known as reflective listening. This is what psychotherapists often do - people tell them more about themselves, and an almost friendly relationship is built between the doctor and the patient.

10. Nod