Before connecting your life with this or that person, be sure to find out everything about him or her. You may be interested in a variety of points - from hereditary diseases to the inheritance that is due to your potential soulmate. The main thing is to ask yourself if you can live your whole life with this person. There should be no dark spots for you in the biography of your future spouse by the time of marriage.

Loyalty is undoubtedly the key concept for creating a happy couple. If you are going to connect your life with this person, tune in to be faithful to him. If you have not yet "walked up", it may be worth postponing the marriage. Most people believe that loyalty is the key to happiness in a couple.

Appreciate your husband or wife. Pamper, make compromises, give cute little gifts ... A quarrel is better than a tense silence, which gradually undermines the marriage, but a calm discussion of the problem is better than a quarrel. Be sure to clarify all conflict issues and make peace. You should not go to bed in a frustrated state, since the resentment only gets stronger over time, which means that it will be much more difficult to put up in the morning. If you find it difficult to compromise, imagine that your significant other is gone. If you really value your loved one, after that it will not be so difficult for you to be the first to propose a truce.

If the couple is having problems, see a therapist or attend a couples workshop.

Don't let everyday life ruin the comfort of your family!

Domestic problems have separated many strong couples. It is worth starting to fight with them from the very beginning. living together... Divide the responsibilities, buy home appliances (from a vacuum cleaner to a dishwasher), keep an eye on the house together. If you and your other half are both working, such a division of responsibilities is essential. Despite the stereotypical idea that a woman should lead the house, in the modern world, where a significant part of women work on an equal basis with men, women have earned the right to rest. Therefore, the separation of duties will greatly simplify your coexistence.

To keep your relationship healthy and strong, don't use sex as a manipulative means.

Mutual support in a pair is the key to success. Instead of nagging or reproaching your spouse, support, reassure, something. It is very important to listen carefully to each other on difficult days.

Sex life is an essential part of a happy relationship. At the very beginning, there are usually no problems in this regard, but over time, marital sex becomes boring, it becomes monotonous and boring. Unfortunately, things just don't work out in the sexual sphere. Buy sexy lingerie, read about role play, take the lead. There is a lot of literature on this topic on the net.

1. Never forget to ask your partner how his day went. These subtleties of communication will never lose their effect, even if they turn into a daily routine. At the end of the day, even if you are very tired, your partner will know that you not only care about him, but you want to know all the details. And he will be eager to share them with you.
2. Quarrels happen. But they shouldn't destroy everything. You can be madly in love with a person and also madly angry with him. Quench your passions. Quarrels and verbal battles do not mean the end of the marriage. Couples who stay together choose friendship and peaceful resolution of conflicts. Remember the saying: a bad world is better than a good quarrel.
3. Recognize that the relationship comes with some commitment. Perhaps you don't feel like doing everything your partner wants - going somewhere in the evening, watching football, or doing some of his errands. But you should know that your presence around him makes him happy. So maybe it’s worth for the sake of this to overcome his “do not want” and go to meet his requests? All of this will strengthen your union.
4. But be honest about which events your partner is obligated to attend with you and which not. Not everything should be required. Your partner has the right to tell you that it is very important to attend all of his family's holidays throughout the year, but he will be worried if you decline an offer to go to a bowling party with his friend. Both of you should be fair to each other. Do not forget about small gifts - they will be remembered for a long time. Nice little things play a big role in life, especially tokens. Does your partner love mint chocolate ice cream? Buy packaging when shopping at the supermarket. This one will show him that you are thinking of him even while doing such mundane things as replenishing milk supplies.
5. Don't insist on partying with other married couples that one of you is not friends with. You don't have to have the same friends. It's okay for each of you to have your own friends. And you can date your girlfriends alone, even if you have a wonderful husband. And he can spend time with his friends. Your girlfriends' husbands don't have to be friends just because you are friends.
6. Kiss each other more often when you meet and say goodbye. It is so wonderful if he, very early leaving for work, does not forget to kiss you gently, trying not to wake you up. Or when he walks you to the door, if you are leaving on business. And an evening kiss when you meet at home means that you care about each other the most. Family traditions that strengthen marriage.
7. It is worth sometimes declining invitations in order to be alone. The rhythm of life today is very fulfilling and busy. Don't try to fill your calendar of the week with unnecessary appointments and invitations. It is sometimes worth giving up some invitations in order to spend this free time together with your beloved
8. Treat his family like yours. His relatives will be pleased that you consider them your family. And your partner will be happy to see that you treat them like family. Call them or send messages from time to time. Visit them or arrange a meeting at a cafe when your husband is away. 60 words that will improve your relationship with your mother-in-law.
9. Should I say “I love you” often? These three words will never get old. It's always nice to hear them. Say them more often, do not skimp on words. There is never too much good.
10. Show sympathy when your loved one is sick. This may mean scrapping dinner plans at the restaurant and making broth at home instead. You may need to run to the pharmacy for a cough syrup. Don't complain. Nobody gets sick on purpose, and if the situation were the opposite, he would also take care of you.
11. Take on more household chores when your husband has a rush at work. No, you don't want to become a laundress, but you do it to make your partner's life easier. And by taking on more of your shared list of responsibilities, you'll have a better chance of doing what you love together when his schedule is less hectic. In addition, you may have a crazy period at work, and he will help you as well. All this is balanced, because you are a family.
12. No need to joke or mock each other. Especially you should not do this in a company, and at home too. Be respectful to each other and think about what is worth sharing in the company and what is not, because this is your loved one, your life partner, and not an object for jokes.
13. Don't be late! How many pointless quarrels could have been avoided if people hadn't been late for dates and appointments! Start coloring your eyes 20 minutes earlier than usual. Perhaps your partner or those to whom you go to the party are very punctual, so be there on time, what time you agreed, so as not to seem rude and ill-mannered.
14. If someone speaks badly about your partner, always protect her. Even if you are too polite to correct other people or kick them out for being rude, sometimes it is worth making exceptions, showing character, and not being polite. Loving people should protect and support each other.
15. Keep each other informed of your personal plans. Are you going to have a cocktail with a friend after work? Great, have fun. But let your partner know where you are. This is necessary so that, firstly, he does not worry, and secondly, so that he can make his own plans for the evening. It's not a question of asking permission - it's a matter of courtesy. Because both you and he want to be calm, knowing that your partner is alive and well and not in trouble.
16. Try not to make trouble when traveling and traveling. The luxury hotel you booked turned out to be worse than you expected. Or maybe your husband forgot to pack your beauty supplies when he promised. You can get angry and turn into Tu Couple, which scandals with each other at the airport, or you can turn everything into a joke and say that in the future you will have something to remember. Control yourself!
17. Be spontaneous - try to surprise. Unexpectedly reserve a table at the restaurant for your dinner. Or take your loved one to a restaurant and offer a snack at the bar. Surprise with early morning sex. Or prepare a surprise in the form of concert tickets. By doing such spontaneous, unexpected actions, you make your life with your loved one more interesting.
18. Love each other unconditionally. Sometimes it really is that simple.

The strength of the relationship between lovers is tested by time. Similar tastes and views will not be enough to live a long life together.

Before deciding to connect life with a person, check if you can do the same in a couple of decades. Psychologists offer couples 10 characteristics with which they can figure out their attachment to each other.

1 Your trust. You must learn to trust your partner, not listen to gossip, justify the trust of your loved one. Building strong relationships is much easier when you have a building block of trust in your foundation.

2. Your respect. The feelings in which you plunge headlong subside over time, and often new details of your partner's character begin to emerge. Think, are you ready to connect life with a person about whom you know nothing? Affection with hormones, sexual desire and adoration will not be sufficient characteristics to create a strong family for life.

3. Your friendship. This point in a relationship is equally important. You should be not only in love, but also the most devoted friends for each other. You will support your partner not only in joy, but also in sorrow. Think if you are ready for such sacrifices, will you leave your soul mate if she starts having problems?

4. Your sense of humor. All people are different, and you probably saw more than one union that you could describe as strange. Humor helps you to be on the same wavelength, prolongs the happiness of life together and makes it possible to relate to life's difficulties with humor.

5. Your independence. Another building block of a strong bond is the independence of both partners. You should have personal space and hobbies, the opportunity to walk with friends and spend time apart from each other, without ceasing to trust your partner.

6. Your empathy. You should literally feel your partner. To be able to put yourself in his place and understand the reason for his sadness and problems. Empathy will also help you put your partner first, understand him perfectly, share your experiences. Empathy is a subtle matter in which two lovers are even comfortable being silent in each other's company.

7. Your passion. In relationships, passion is not the last place. But over time, it goes away. Are you ready to excite each other over the years, to continue to see in your partner not just a neighbor, but a person for whom you have passion and desire?

8. Your maturity. Are you ready to build your relationships not as teenagers, but as adults? Not to call names or accuse each other, but to be able to make compromises? If you can calmly discuss the problems and find common decision are open to dialogue, then your relationship will last a long time.

9. Your communication. You must be able to communicate, speak directly to your partner about your preferences, be able to listen to your loved one. Communication is an effective weapon in keeping your love alive for years to come.

10. Your love. This feeling should be your best motivation to maintain and develop your relationship. Mutual love should become the fundamental principle so that your couple can survive all adversity, maintain a wonderful microclimate in your personal life.

Do not forget that you must fight bad habits, change in better side for the sake of your beloved. Relationships in couples are work for two that helps you get to know each other better, fall in love with your chosen one again and live, radiating positive.

It touches me how the secret of a long and happy family life sounds from experienced people at weddings and other teaching ceremonies for young people. Something like: children, family - this is not only a holiday, you have to be patient, help each other, respect each other, forgive and further down the list of debts. And then we'll meet at the golden wedding.

And then I am a little embarrassed to say in my toast that it doesn’t matter. And it’s important that the person is “yours”. The secret is to meet the "right" person, and not somehow masterly learn to endure. And somehow honorable to do your duty. You need to find someone with whom you don't need to be patient ...

My mother, in the first place of my family life, said for example: you forgive your husband, well, absolutely everything! At these moments I always tensed, trying to scan what I forgave him and did not trace it ... I really do not know. It turns out that I forgive him that he throws socks around, that he disappears at work and may not hear what I am telling him, because he is thinking about his project (terrible disrespect), and he is also not a big boss at work, but a free artist, still there something ... And I did not forgive anything. Don't exaggerate my forgiving abilities. I just did not notice these socks, I automatically collect them outside the doors and throw them in washing machine... They don't bother me. And it doesn’t hurt me in any way that he was on his own and he didn’t have subordinates at work as I did. It never occurred to me that there was a problem. But he does not hear me - so I love enthusiastic people, if I really need it - I do not disdain to wave my hands in order to attract attention to myself. And when he is not around, I have more to do with myself. If we were together all the time, it would have strained me more. So it's not me - a wonderful wife and learned to be tolerant. But it's just very "my" design.

Favorite work is the same. You even have problems and difficulties there. But you do not perceive them as grief and problems. Maybe as such a healthy challenge, maybe as small delays or difficulties. But if you love the process itself, then no one needs to persuade you to be patient, to go forward ... You yourself go through a hundred options and your brains automatically switch to this search at any free minute. And you will go to sleep tired, and your brains are still spinning and spinning: can you do that? and here it is still necessary to try? And you can even jump out of bed at night and go try it. I happen at 4 in the morning, rummaging around with my sleepy hand, to write something down that I need to try in the morning or look for literature on this topic ... Nobody is forcing me. And at the same time, I carry vindictively within me and tell with suffering how, while working at the bank, I was once called to work close to 12 o'clock in the morning to prepare calculations for the boss, who was going to difficult negotiations. It was not "mine", I did not like it, I did them (those who needed it) a favor. So I remember him to this day. Here, yes, you need to look for forgiveness in yourself ...

And the secret of professionalism and success - as it seems to me - is also in this: to love what you do. Do what you love.

And then people ask:
How do you relax?
And we do not strain.

Why am I ... And I came to visit. A wonderful family, 20 years together, not a single "discrediting" case, patience for a ten on a ten-point system. Quietly otgyrkivayutsya to each other from different angles. Squeezed. Burknut, jerk, and immediately back. You can't get angry, swearing is fraught, it's ugly and wrong. And it's useless. Children, common property. We must endure. A strong family is built on patience, forgiveness and so on ... No, this is some kind of false secret for me.

Girls, I decided to share with you a wonderful article. I found it a long time ago, I reread it regularly and it helps me a lot.

Secrets of family happiness. The first secret - Comfort in the house.
A man, ripe for serious family relationships, sees in the chosen one not only an object for passion and love, but also considers her as a future mistress, a mother for his children. That is, marriage for him is in addition to all the romantic advantages, when his beloved is always there, also a delicious hot lunch and dinner, order in the house, clean clothes. In a word, the comfort that a hostess wife can provide. And a woman who has become a wife should understand this.

Therefore, one of the foundations of strong family relationships is family coziness and comfortable living conditions. You can, of course, afford a little mess, feed your family with ready-made store food, or even have a snack in a cafe. But as exceptions. And even if you earn good money (perhaps more than your spouse), occupy a certain official position, you must nevertheless be a good housewife. Fortunately, now modern woman there are a lot of household helpers who perform almost all the main chores around the house.

Secrets of family happiness. The second secret is Motherhood.
Even the most enamored newlyweds, having lived a certain time for themselves, understand that something is missing in their life, that they are bored and not interested in doing only themselves. And children are a new round of family life, a new stage, although responsible, but joyful and happy. How many positive emotions burst into family life with the appearance of a baby. Everything is literally turned upside down, and it's amazing.

Although it is the appearance of a child that can become a serious test for the feelings of the spouses. And not all, alas, pass it. How many families break up just because the halves do not agree. Or maybe they just didn’t want to find a compromise, to hold back pride? Concerns and thoughts about children, about how to bring them up, raise them unite the thoughts and efforts of the spouses, turning the family into a single whole. But only where the husband and wife are ready to understand each other, to look for a golden solution in controversial situations, everyone will be the first to meet them with a happy family life.

Secrets of family happiness. The third secret is female patience. In marriage, a woman must learn to manage her emotions. Girlish capriciousness, self-will are not the traits that distinguish a wise wife. Of course, it is not forbidden to be capricious with your husband, for example, in those cases when you are seeking some kind of purchases for your beloved. But whims are inappropriate in important life situations. Here you need to show all your will, mind and patience. Yes, it is patience that is a quality that can help you achieve a lot, both in work and in family life.

Failure to accept the position of a man (if it is really logical and reasonable) will ultimately lead to conflict. For a man, it is important to understand and be willing to support him, so to speak, "play with him in one tune." And being patient does not mean at all to endure beatings from a drinking husband or put up with treason, pretending that you do not know anything. In these situations, you just need to act, take the situation under your control and act as you see fit.

Women's patience in family life is identified with wisdom when you understand your husband and support him in times of crisis in business, at work. You take care of the children yourself and do not make scandals for him because he stays late in the office, practically not helping you.

Patience is a colossal work, and first of all it is work on oneself.

Secrets of family happiness. Secret number four - Be a good listener.
Learn to listen to your man. Talking openly can often help relieve tension, fear and anxiety. And this is very important, especially for a family, where there should be no misunderstandings and secrets. The man is a representative of the stronger sex, and, nevertheless, even the husband who, it would seem, is woven of iron and steel, needs to be listened to, given advice, and simply rejoiced at his success with admiration and pride. And if the beloved wife becomes the adviser, then this will only strengthen the feelings.

Men reach great heights not only thanks to their intelligence and talents, but also thanks to wise wives who provide a reliable rear in their family life. And the man in whom they believe, who is appreciated and respected, above all, by the closest people, will achieve a lot in life, for the sake of those who love him and whom he loves.

Secrets of family happiness. The fifth secret is mutual respect.
Respect in the family, namely the mutual respect of the spouses, is the foundation of a strong and lasting relationship. Only in a family where each side respects the spouse's parents, where rude and abusive treatment is not allowed, everything will be safe.

A wife should respect her husband for being a man, for his efforts to provide the family with prosperity, respect the traditions of his family, if they are important to him.

A husband should respect his wife for being a woman, giving birth and raising children, leading a life, respecting her family. Each half of the family has a specific role to play, and the responsibilities of each side must be respected and understood.

Secrets of family happiness. Sixth secret - Match the desired with the possibilities.
Don't ask the impossible from a man. You should not raise the level of life requirements if he is not able to reach it. Therefore, when you want a mink coat this year, and your husband is simply not able to give it to you, you should moderate your ardor. You can earn yourself if you work and earn enough money, but otherwise, wait, or help your husband earn this money. A man driven into a dead end is discouraged, and even strong and self-confident he will become limp from the exorbitant demands of his wife.

Learn to rationally plan your family budget and measure your desires against the possibilities. Everything has its time, because if there is a goal and certain efforts, everything is achievable.

Secrets of family happiness. Seventh Secret - Voice requests.
Talk to a man about problems and what you want from him. For example, some kind of help around the house: vacuuming, taking a walk with the child. If a husband hates trash, it’s not because he’s lazy. It's just that the logic of men and women is radically different. If it is normal for a woman to take out the garbage when leaving her apartment for work and is one of the points of cleanliness and order, then for a man this does not mean absolutely nothing (but there are exceptions, of course). His head is busy with the work ahead, with meetings. Therefore, remind, prompt and avoid so many problems and even quarrels that arise from everyday life.

Secrets of family happiness. Secret # 8 - Solve problems on time.
As for conflict situations, then they definitely need to be solved in time. Just sit down and talk, discuss what is important and what caused the problem in the relationship. Resentment, reticence, which has no way out, erodes the soul, gradually developing into dislike for a loved one. When figuring out the relationship, keep yourself in control, never allow yourself to be abused, because you will soon make up, and the cruel and offensive words that were said will remain in your heart forever. Find a reason to make up, do it first, but so what. It will not decrease. But the soul will become calm, and you will understand that these are the steps towards the accumulation of wisdom and life experience.

Secrets of family happiness. Secret ninth - Take care of the health of the man. Men rarely care about their health. A woman is more scrupulous in such matters, if only because for her health and beauty are consonant concepts. Therefore, to be beautiful means to be healthy. Men, on the other hand, are busy with global life issues: career, family wealth, growing children, success. They just have no time to take care of themselves. Monitor how he eats breakfast and what he eats at work. Be mindful of how they feel. If you see that there is a reason to see a doctor, then you need to do it. And here there are no indulgences.

Secrets of family happiness. The tenth secret is Trust.
Trust the one you love. Even if in Lately the husband is late at work, and you do everything alone around the house, taking care of the children. Trust when you let your spouse go to a corporate party or fishing.

Trust is a quality that is worth a lot, it is like the most important thread connecting loving people, even when they are at a great distance from each other. Appreciate the trust of your spouse, and trust yourself. Never test another person's feelings with dummy situations and jealousy.

Secrets of family happiness. Secret eleventh - Ability to forgive.
It is priceless. If a loved one makes a mistake, be able to understand him. You should not chop off everything in the heat of the moment, burning all the bridges to further relationships. Anything in life can happen. When it’s an accident, and when it’s a stupid coincidence.

Forgiving has given many families a chance to live long and happy lives.

Secrets of family happiness. Secret twelfth - Be beautiful.
Homemade pies and borscht are, of course, wonderful. But if you serve them to the table in your usual dressing gown with a slicked ponytail on your head, then 10: 0 is not in your favor. The spouse, of course, loves you for your spiritual beauty, and is used to seeing your wife without makeup and hair. But do you love yourself? In a bathrobe, slippers? That means not very much. But a woman who loves and respects herself is admirable, not only for her husband, but also for the people around her. Love yourself! Only without narcissism.

Always take the time to go to the hairdresser, use quality cosmetics, take care of your body and skin, and monitor your health. The woman who has managed to emphasize her naturalness, femininity and individuality is beautiful. And, of course, do not forget that the true beauty of a woman's soul is reflected in her eyes, where in the depths of a scattering of diamonds shine the ability to love disinterestedly and sincerely, the desire to care and caress, to be a mother, the ability to understand and forgive.

Well, it's not easy to build family relationships, you say. That's right, not easy. After all, you need to build not a temporary shelter, but a strong, reliable hearth for a long and happy life. But when you are with a beloved and loving person, all these commandments will be just an opportunity to be near, to love and build your happiness brick by brick with each passing day. It does not happen that people get married and everything goes well and smoothly with them.

How many families are crumbling due to the inability to understand each other, to pacify ambitions. And of course, such qualities are a woman's priority. Nature has endowed us with flexibility, gentleness, patience, which is a great feminine strength. Wisdom comes with our actions, experienced joys and difficulties, with painstaking work on ourselves and our weaknesses. Therefore, everything written above, I, first of all, address to the fair sex.

Although I completely agree that a strong and friendly family is built solely on the principle of reciprocity. Reciprocity of feelings and actions of both spouses. But, as you know in a family, a woman is a neck, and a man is a head. So, we turn where we need to be. So do it wisely, then you will live in happiness and harmony until old age (God forbid).