Male betrayal today will surprise no one. Moreover, in society there is no harsh condemnation of men for their campaigns on the side. Explanation of their polygamous physiology is most often limited to one phrase "He's a man!", Implying permission for treason. And, despite the fact that cheating on a husband is one of the most common reasons for divorce in the world, most often men's fleeting hobbies are forgiven by their wives.

The attitude in society towards female infidelity is the opposite. Since ancient times, a woman was considered a coastal woman, a keeper of the hearth. Her modesty, loyalty to her husband were considered the most valuable qualities. In some cultures, the wife could be executed for treason, more often the crowd threw stones at the traitor. Today, a woman who has cheated on her spouse does not expect such a severe punishment. But, if the infidelity of a man is justified by nature itself, then female infidelity is a complex concept that requires a detailed explanation.

The psychology of female infidelity

The nature of female infidelity can be explained with one phrase from an old anecdote: "Taking someone else's wife away is not difficult, it is difficult to bring her back later." Although many wives deny that they can ever cheat on their spouse, in fact, statistics prove the opposite. A woman, unlike a man, is guided not by the physiological needs given to him by nature, but by feelings. Therefore, it is a married woman that is easiest to seduce and fall in love with. Against the background of a stagnant relationship with a spouse and a lack of romance, it is very easy to awaken a woman's extinguished feelings. After all, every woman dreams of being loved and desired, and words for her are often more important than actions. Consider why, at all times, notorious romantics and vagabonds were revered by women more than reasonable businessmen? Why do women go from a reliable spouse to a street bully? As already mentioned, women live by feelings, and cheating for them is an action dictated by their emotional sphere. No woman will cheat on her husband, just because she liked the biceps or butt of the alleged lover. There are deeper roots among the causes of female infidelity.

Common causes of female infidelity

So why does the wife decide to take such a risky step? For many, this is, first of all, a step of despair, finding a way out of the situation, solving problems. The reasons for the wife's betrayal should be sought only in the family.

• An attempt to forget family problems. More than 10 years of marriage have passed, the family has children, but there are certain problems that do not make a woman happy in marriage. Young girls are most likely to file for divorce, and a woman who has decades of family life behind her will not dare to destroy the created world. Because of my own insecurity, because of the children, because of the fear of change. She will find an outlet in the form of a lover. But over time, this illusion will collapse, the woman will understand that she is deceiving, first of all, herself.
• Self-ego satisfaction. Psychologists say that an unmarried woman can be distinguished by her gaze, by a certain shine in her eyes, an aura emanating from her. After getting married, a woman loses these characteristics and becomes uninteresting for men. And the fact that she is married also repels fans from her. It is in the search for male attention and romance that a woman decides to cheat. Moreover, often in such cases it is she who becomes the initiator of extramarital relations.
• Sexual problems. Intimacy plays a big role in family life. But over time, the passion dulls, and many married couples are overtaken by a crisis. Without trying to find joint decision of this problem, the spouses find him on the side. Sexual dissatisfaction pushes a wife to betrayal.
• Women's revenge. Cheating for this reason is a huge mistake. Upon learning of her husband's infidelity, the wife, overwhelmed by feelings, under the influence of severe stress, goes to treason. But the result is a spiritual emptiness and possibly even a broken marriage. After all, a man, unlike a woman, is not always ready to forgive treason.

• New love. No matter how old a woman is, she constantly needs love and romantic courtship. And, if on her way there is a seducer who will give her all this, then she, headlong, will rush into a maelstrom of new relationships.
• Frequent separation. Long-term business trips of the spouse can also serve as a catalyst for the wife's cheating. In this case, a number of other reasons arise that contribute to the disorder in the relationship: lack of attention, suspicion of the husband of infidelity, sexual dissatisfaction.
• First love. As you know, the first love leaves the strongest emotional memories in the soul. And if the object of youthful hobby (provided that he did not drink, did not degrade) meets on the way of a woman, then her memory will stir up past memories and the relationship will continue.
• Loveless marriage. Unfortunately, such marriages are becoming common in society. Childhood friend, by calculation, by flight - it is difficult to surprise with such reasons for getting married.

And one more important aspect - a woman changes not only with her body, but also with her soul. Therefore, if a man breaks with his mistress is easy, then for a woman such a choice is very difficult. And when such a situation occurs, it is very important to stop being guided by feelings, and start acting according to the arguments of reason.

Signs of cheating wife

The nature of a woman is such that it is difficult for her to hide the changes that are happening to her. The female powerful emotional sphere is again to blame for everything. Therefore, if the wife did not admit her infidelity herself, which often happens, the husband can learn about her romance by a number of signs:

• the spouse hides her phone from her husband, does not talk on the phone with him;
• there were changes in appearance, the wife began to take better care of herself;
• a woman has lost interest in sex, constantly finds a reason to evade intimacy;
• the spouse has become emotionally distant;
• she no longer cares about housekeeping;
• absences from home have become frequent, and the wife also returns from work late;
• any words or actions of the spouse now annoy the woman;
• and the most important sign of infidelity is the appearance of sparkle in the eyes, mystery and mystery.

But no matter what reasons a woman is guided by when cheating, its consequences, most often, are very sad. What does a woman feel after her betrayal?

Most likely, an exorbitant burden of guilt will fall on women's shoulders. Even if the husband never learns about the fact of the accomplished betrayal, the wife will worry and suffer for a very long time because of what he did. Because of the fear of condemnation and disclosure of secrets, a woman is unlikely to tell anyone about her act. But in such situations it is best to speak out, cry on someone's shoulder. Being in this case herself and a lawyer, and a judge, and an executioner, a woman can easily reach a nervous breakdown. And then only a psychologist or her husband who forgave her can help.

The breakdown of the family can also be a sad consequence of the wife's betrayal. Although, depending on which side you look at. If the marriage was already bursting at the seams, maybe it shouldn't be saved? And divorce is the only step in order to start life from a new leaf. As a rule, men do not forgive cheating. A man understands perfectly well that if his wife cheated on him, it means that she gave vent to feelings, it means that not only physical, but also spiritual betrayal took place. This means that the wife does not belong to him. And rarely any spouse can forgive this. Therefore, the consequences of a wife's betrayal for her husband are always so categorical.

Another consequence of the accomplished adultery is a new relationship and, possibly, a new family. There are a lot of such cases in life. Having met true love, the woman goes to her lover and gets married. In this case, we can say that life after the betrayal has become happier.

Thus, we can conclude that the reasons for adultery on the part of the wife lie in the search for love, warmth, attention and understanding, which she lacks in the family. Cheating occurs when the relationship has become obsolete. Therefore, in order not to blame yourself for the destruction of the family, you need to do everything to preserve it before the woman decides to take a desperate step. If in her own husband she sees at the same time a defender, lover, friend, then even thoughts will not arise about treason.

Like everything in this life, betrayal does not come to a woman's life by accident. This is not just a betrayal of a partner. This is a desperate attempt by life to reach out to you, to interrupt the lazy sleep of your inner world. The psychology of cheating is a series of nuances that lead to intense pain.

women. Sometimes the very fact of what happened is a complete surprise to her, and sometimes it is just a confirmation of her conclusions from observations and guesses.

Of course, betrayal is especially hard to endure when it falls like snow on your head. In this case, the woman's comfortable and protected world, in which she fully trusted her partner, collapses, scattering to pieces.

But life doesn't end there. We need to live on. Trust people and love them.

Tsunami of treason

The news of her husband's betrayal undermines the foundations of trust in a woman's soul. The integrity of the couple's space is destroyed.

It is very difficult to restore the ability to trust a woman after that. Nothing will ever be in the union as before. This is the line, crossing which, you can open up the relationship in a new way, moving to a new level of their perception, or the connection will completely fade away on the spiritual plane - even if the partners remain to live under the same roof.

But nothing will ever be the same. With what was paired before the betrayal, you will have to say goodbye. However, this crisis can become the option when the end is the beginning of a new one.

On the eve of treason

Women always blame the man for everything. But your partner did not come to this decision - to build a relationship with another woman - not all of a sudden. So there was fire before this thick and choking smoke of defeat appeared.

What can a partner not notice in living together with a man? What is the psychology of cheating?

Very often, women emotionally isolate themselves from their partners without seeing it. They push the man out of their space, heart, soul, turning all their attention to work and hobbies or to children and girlfriends.

But it also happens otherwise. A woman can so dissolve in a man that she eventually loses herself and destroys her own personal boundaries. She literally strangles her partner with her all-consuming attention and love. And then he is forced to look for a breath of freedom on the side. And then another appears ... so gentle, but independent ...

Or maybe you just initially chose a man ... out of habit.

So it turns out that the psychology of infidelity is extremely simple: some men cheat, fleeing next to their partner; others flee from her clinginess and affection. But don Juans simply cannot miss a single skirt.

The role of treason in a woman's soul

Like everything in this life, betrayal does not come to a woman's life by accident. She is an indicator of your soul's discomfort.

To restore relationships and their trust after infidelity, a woman will have to look differently at the very fact of what happened. This isn't just your partner's betrayal. This is a desperate attempt by life to reach out to you, to interrupt the lazy sleep of your inner world. And while you see treason as purely deceit men, you will not be able to heal your inner balance and trust.

Of course, if your partner turns out to be very considerate and delicate, if he asks you for forgiveness, takes care of your feelings, you will most likely regain your trust ... and become addicted to the man's behavior.

And if some minor waves appear on the surface of the relationship, the woman will again and again plunge into her dramatic experiences of the times of betrayal. It's a vicious circle.

Trust can only be re-formed at a new level! A return to the former life is impossible.

What is needed to jump to another layer of relations?

Any spiritual transition is primarily associated with spiritual development as well. You will have to finally admit that a man and his act is a reflection of your expectations and reactions repressed deep into the unconscious. This means that there is no point in blaming a partner.

When you see the dark that was hidden in your psyche, when you realize how you yourself communicated with other people and how you hurt them, you will understand your man.

Ability to forgive

Try to remember when you behaved in life the way your partner did to you. Why did you do this? What drove you?

So, passing the awareness of your actions through the prism of the soul, you will be able to understand and forgive a man.

Forgiveness is possible when you see in yourself what you dislike about your husband, what hurts you. By forgiving and accepting yourself, you can make peace with your partner.

Yes, it's hard. Just like stopping blaming your husband for everything. But the restoration of the soul's ability to trust will happen only after deep forgiveness and acceptance of the man.

And do not expect calming and ingratiating behavior from him. There is no need to expect anything at all from the other. You need to deal with your suffering and shadows yourself! A man can support you on this path, and nothing more.

The husband is your teacher. Messenger of Karma. It provokes your childhood pain over and over again to manifest itself and appear outside. And the most powerful pain stimulant is cheating.

This is your chance to heal internally - only by walking the path of spirituality, reflecting on your life, you can restore the ability to trust. And the most important thing is to take the chance and through it grow up, gaining self-confidence and strength. If you chose the path to go into the depths of pain, and not from it, then you will feel an OTHER self out of suffering.
Not emotionally closed and unable to love and trust, but confident and calm from this, who knows how to love, trust and wait.
Remember that in a relationship, each partner is responsible.

Open up to new opportunities that give you the ability to forgive and understand, to come to new heights of trust and love in your union.

To understand at what stage your relationship is now, in what state they are, sign up for mine.

With love,

Irina Gavrilova Dempsey

Why do men and women cheat? knows not all betrayals are the same, some are even accidental, and are different. But today we will talk about what life is like after treason.

In the proposed article, we relied on the data of psychotherapists who have many years of experience in communicating with people who exhibit .

Life after infidelity

They lead a secret life that they hide from their marriage partners. They go through a painful divorce, hurting their children and their children's children. Or they make desperate attempts to save the wreckage of a past life. They say they went through it all to get a thrill or to bring romance into everyday life. Sometimes they say they don’t remember the moment of the decision that split their lives. "It just happened." But it doesn't matter if they remember how they made this decision or not, life after the betrayal changes.

Accidental treason

All cheating seems to fall into four main categories. The first includes cases of unintentional betrayals that really happened "just like that". Some got drunk, some couldn't refuse, some just had a bad day. In theory, this can happen to anyone, but there are people who seem to be at risk of accidental betrayal. These are those who drink, travel a lot, those who do not feel stable in marriage, those who are surrounded by a lot of friends. Most of them are men.

After an accidental betrayal, it makes sense to realize that life after the betrayal and the marriage has changed. The following options are possible.

1. Decide that cheating was a stupid act, and decide to continue to avoid it and not allow it in your life.

2. Conclude that you would not have done this if it were not for your wife or husband. Shift all the blame for what happened on your soul mate and destroy the marriage.

3. Noticing that everything went quietly and smoothly, and no one was struck by lightning, make it your hobby - safe and inexpensive.

Romantic infidelity

Of course, the craziest and most destructive form of infidelity is the temporary madness of falling in love. This can happen not only when you meet some wonderful people. Often this happens when a person goes through some kind of crisis in his life and can no longer live his old life.

Romantic infidelity has led to so many divorces, suicides, murders, heart attacks, strokes, but not very many successful remarriages. No matter how many sacrifices you make in the name of this romantic love, sacrificing your family and children, no matter how much you make for this crazy relationship, it will gradually burn out when there is nothing more to sacrifice. And you have to be ready then, on the rubble of several lives, to experience chronic depression in the life after cheating.

Both sexes seem to be equally capable of falling under the affect of romantic infidelity, but women are more likely to rethink their actions as done in the name of love.

Family infidelity

All marriages are imperfect, and perhaps some form of frustration is at the root of adultery. There are some marriages that fail to provide a drop of warmth, and all communication is built on prudence and money. There are marriages that, in fact, have already died and cannot be restored. Often people in such marriages reach an agreement that each of them lives his own life. Therefore, infidelity in such marriages in itself does not create any problems, and life after infidelity is not very different from the previous one. Cheating can destroy a good marriage, but it can help stabilize a bad one.

It is characteristic that men are more practical about such infidelities than women. Women tend to romanticize such relationships and still secretly hope that a relationship with such a married partner will lead to a wedding.

Debauchery

Some people, men and women alike, refuse to return and spend their entire lives caring for narcissistic trauma. But this behavior is rare. A marriage can survive despite the betrayal of a wife or husband if it is stopped. And there is life after betrayal.

But remember, seasoned therapists warn that infidelity is a very dirty hobby. Is not effective method find a new partner or start a new life.